Journal

the same conclusion

2011-02-08T01:25:00.000-05:00

It's been running into my head for quite a while. I know the consequence, which I am ready to accept that however, I keep lingering on, delaying for the sake of what!! Seems nobody wants to be a bad guy, but in the end it seems I may not be able to escape from this accuse. No matter how I do or try to minimize damage the last chapter will still be the same. So ... just burst it out and end it.

first rain of this year

2009-02-28T16:56:00.000-05:00

It's such a pleasure sitting hearing the sound of rain dropping. lately, I'm completely busy with my thought. I can't just let it go. it's still running inside no matter what I am doing or what I am thinking. It buries itself in my deep consciousness. It is not really painful, but it's bugging though. rain rain rain ... please falling down ... purifies me, getting rid of wasteful stuff of me ... inside. Wouldn't it be nice touching rain, hearing it while being outside of the city. It's totally different. I just need a rest, going somewhere far away to clear my head to realize what I stand at and what direction should I head.

what is going on in my life?

2008-11-08T17:12:00.000-05:00

Be patient! I am so sick of the word. I am so bored with my work life. Isn;t it because it is not challenging enough or isn't it because it is not what I really want to do. How long would it take me to reach my short-term goal? How can I define "short-term? A year or a few years? I first should try to get CFA as soon as I can. Also I should make contacts with people in the industry. Um...let start this Wednesday. Be a man from NY again ... just be confident .. be cheerful and be sociable which I know absolutely that I can to turn on the mode but just ...hold on to something. I dont now what it is ..but it's just so confusing.

I Just Got it from UK ... Ahhhhhh

2008-03-07T21:42:00.000-05:00

Come to New York Please.

enough said

2008-03-04T21:48:00.000-05:00

Recently, I have had a lot of time to re-arrange my life, carefully choosing a path I would embark on. I was so overwhelmed by a lot of choices. It's just so common that on one hand persons having many options would keep complaining which opion is the best and hesitate to make an decisive decision. On the other hand, people lacking of those luxuries just try everything or even pray, hoping that some ray of light would filter through and somehow lead them to a fortune. When the time that those choices I had had gradually disappeared, I felt both relieved and wistful at the same time. Having too many choices sometimes just hinders my "visibility." Anyway I passed that critical process and so far I am in another enduring process, which is waiting. It's been a month and a week since I submitted my application to those elite schools. According to many webborad that admitted students had posted some info regarding those schools, the result is finally coming out. And I am pretty sure and hopefully that I would receive some response from those admissions in a few weeks or probably this week. Being back for 2 weeks seems not enough.

And let's count down the journey.

2007-12-19T16:28:00.000-05:00

It's so sad that it has to come to an end. No matter what it is, it might be bad or may be really awesome, but once it is over, I wistfully hope it could last a little but longer. Is it a sadness or what? Shouldn't I be happy!! Probably, because I'm so used to the way my life is the last 2 and a half years and now it is changing in a way that even I am not able what's gonna come up. So tired being here, mentally. Although I already made the decision, it's a 2-blade decision. I might be so dissappointed or could be very sprightly. Hate to wait anyhow. A few months later, I should give myself an answer which direction I will be heading. If one could collect a waiting time. one could have had another life. Just like having the Doraemon clock, we wouldn't waste a precious time. Right now I feel like I'm incomplete. There is a hole somewhere on my body or on inner. Just don't know how to fill it up. I hadn't written on this blog for a long time, cuz lately I didn't feel "bad." HERRR!!!!!!!!!! One concern is that all these 2 years, my being in Bkk is ........... I'm such a hermit here. Rarely talk to old friends, rarely ..... miss the old days. I must be really old now, cuz longing for and daydreaming about old are the stuff old people usually do.

Released

2007-10-26T23:00:00.000-04:00

I have thought about this issue many times. Well, when we create constraints or boundaries of one's ability to meet or choose what is suitable for oneself. Such a weird situation isn't it. I have observed this situation when I'm abroad. I think because there are not many Thai students in my school, they tend to form a "group." That's not bizarre. But what strange is that ... many may perceive it as a normal situation. To me it's such an aberration. It's so ridiculous that I as a third person that being coerced to listen to what irratable stories of those persons. And it's keep happening again and again. Some time I just can't put up with these. Well, outside it seems as if I was so into it ... I was consciously listening to what they were telling although it may have been the fourth or fifth time I heard that story.
Why friends .. well let me deifine a word " friend." To me, a friend is person that I can spend my time with without being annoyed or if there is, that's because I choose to be in that situation to ease my friend or for whatever reason is. Basically, my definition is so so simple. But here because of many factors. There is a force that pushes and pushes and pushes some body or even me some times to be in an unpleasant situation that we have no choice. Why are they still together, spending time together despite expressing or even cursing the other persons secretly ... to me. How can one be so loquacious to a point that I would want to run away or to be a deaf at the moment. I am desperate to finding a new nest, but who knows it would be better or even worse. We never knows until it has arrived.

momento

2007-09-15T17:14:00.000-04:00

Have you ever felt like this??? Recently I have had this feeling quite often. I feel like I am stuck at a point again. Like my life is a stair and I gotta get stuck somewhere and have to work my way up again and again. It never ends. At first reaching a new level, my life seems interesting. Everything is so fresh. New Challenges. Starting Off again!! Then, when I get stuck at somewhere too long or long enough to make me feel that it's time to move on. Moving on is not easy as I blow. I mean I gotta to do something extra, unsual stuff that would impact on my being. At this moment I wondered if I could ever want to be in a lower step as I am right now. As if I would be glad. And I just know that I would be happy though ... for a while and then feel uncomfortable with the situation and I wouldn't be able to stand it anymore and finally I would push myself out of that position.
Now I'm on a step for quite some time. It might not be a right time to go up or would it be better if went the otheway on sidewalks. Working my way, building up something that I don't know that would exist or that would better my position.
How would I know this is it ? This is the right moment to be climbing up there. Who knows if I am ready or not. Some time we aren't prepared to hit a ceiling, but the ceiling just gets down right on our head.

Which way?

2007-09-11T11:27:00.000-04:00

Recently, I've gotta make a "vital"decision. Basically, there are 3-4 choices that I can go. One way is a long way with some interesting stuff I would be learning, but probably I might get bored and too tired of this journey. Another choice is "cut and dry." just as it is, quick. But it might not be a most efficient way. I pretty much know that at the first place of embarking on this way, I would be happy, fun and fullfilled. Somehow in the future ,not knowing how far after it has begun, I would be sick of that life and that crappy haunting boring fucking retard life. The third choice is to start a short journey, just like a quick trip and would benefit my life all that much. This is the choice I've had in mind. But pretty hard to work on it also since there are a lot of tasks I have to overcome. I am so excited of this coming future. :) Just pretty fucking tired of thinkinh thoroughly of which way I should be going since we never know what is going to happen in the rest of our choices. If only we could seperate our life into three and make the most out of it and pick the best, ultimately best one.

A brain cleaner :P

2007-09-02T23:02:00.000-04:00

Wouldn’t it be great if we could choose what memories we wanted to keep or to be deleted? I believe that everyone has some sort of bitter experiences needed to forget or be buried deep down as deep as the Earth would allow. Many times I see something or hear some story that remind me of unforgettable incident, not in a good sense, an alternative or at least my first and last thing I would do is to be alone, cheer myself up the a point that no one would catch me. But only if we could turn back time or have a magic pill or a thumb drive that could plug in directly to put a part of our brain that stores all memories. We could just transfer those memories or trash them. I was just daydreaming. Can we just erase bad memories as if double clicking a mouse? Isn’t it great!! Please some crazy scientist … please invent this device or come up with something that we could rely on in eliminating unnecessary memories.

Deep, Dark, Dorky??

2007-08-31T23:24:00.001-04:00

How would you rate these kinds of people and how do you define those people? Many times you couldn't tell by looking their face or having a small talk with them. How ??...

Got Back from Chicago

2007-08-27T23:23:00.000-04:00

........ I love NY .........

A human counter

2007-07-17T06:55:00.000-04:00

Wouldn't it be nice if each individual has a counter beneath skin somewhere. This counter can number how far we have travelled, not only by foot. Whenever we flied or rid any transportation, this counter would process precisely how far we go. That's a crazy idea. Some time I just want to know something that a human being is not able to figure it out. Like . .. . how far would I be alive? Lately I often keep falling into my past life, thinking about every little detail. Why did I do that? What's the insight behind my behevior? Taking some psychology class would be helpful hahaha. It's quite difficult some time to read any body language. Can't they just burst it out loud? I just didn't pay any attention to whatever they were trying to tell me. If we could just read people's mind, or should I pray for a device that when we wear it, we could read, know every detail what others think. Such a weak.... It's like a mid game also. ... keep playing, playing and playing.
When I woke up today, it was 5.55 am. Quite early huh? I was laughing though.

How can we stay alive without boreness?

2007-07-02T15:18:00.000-04:00

It seems impossible, at least for me, to be at one place for a long long time and still be excitied with the environment and life style. That's ironic. While I was working, I thought that my study life would be very intriguing. Well, it is. But it's not gonna last since I will graduate this December. I have a idea of taking another Master's Degree. That's another choice of my being lazy.

26 days in Bangkok

2007-01-29T07:15:00.000-05:00

I never thought I would have such a short stay in Bangkok. The time passed by so quick like a breeze. One sentence in Econ Class just striked me so bad " When resouces are limited, they are priceless." besides, that resource is Time. No one would argue that time is purchasable. I mean you could buy others' people time, but not yours. The days I was in Bangkok I was with my family, met up with a lot of friends and enjoyed a travel to Southern Thailand. The whole year and 8 month was squeezed into a hole inside, waiting for a right moment to be released. And the day arrived. I went crazy when I was in Bangkok as if all of the "things" in the hole was pushed by an irresistable force ... it exploded, everthing was released. Proabably, that was the reason why I was exhausted happily, though.

waiting

2006-10-30T19:01:00.000-05:00

Winter is coming. Time goes by so fast. I almost fininsh my second semester. Lately, I am counting for the day I fly back to Bangkok. I don't miss Bangkok I guess. I jus want to be back in a life I used to be, to be relaxed, to be hanging out with a lot of friends, to be free, to go anywhere without any concern about the study, to take photographs as usual and do it just like it's part of my life. Something is missing here, something that even I don't know what it is or if I could get it back while I'm wandering around in Bangkok. Two of my friend will visit me in winter, Should I be happy with that? I think I should but I'm not so sure cuz if they come in a time that I want to be alone or am too busy to be with them, I guess I wouldn't be happy.

Help!

2006-09-08T22:21:00.000-04:00

A belief or theory or whatever saying that human beings are social animals is stuck inside me. I feel awful many times when someone asks me to help, but they don't show any respect on my advice. What I was trying to say was "Why do you need me to help despite not believing or trusting what I've given an advice?" This kind of thought strikes me and I am so sick of helping somebody like this. You just need me to lend a hand, why don't you turn a wall toward me back? How can I escape from this idea? ??? or just saying that I don't know, or I just never say a word. That would be worse though. This sort of conflicts is waiting to explode when I can no longer put up with.

Summer Trip '06

2006-09-03T01:53:00.000-04:00

I was gonna write about my last trip for many times, but I just couldn't go into it. Probably because of this coming fall semester or it could have been something going on about my personal life though. Now, I'm trying to figure it out where I should start writing about my journey. So sleepy, maybe tomorrow then hahaha

ps. this picture I took it while we were heading to Grand Canyon. We just stopped by the viewpoint beside the freeway 53 South.

a dinner

2006-09-01T06:07:00.000-04:00

Now it is 6 am in the morning but I'm still awake. Moonlight filters through my window. This is not the only night that lying on the bed doesn't mean sleeping to me. I just closed my eyes, anyhow my brain was still working hard. I was thinking about the party tonight, about my summer trip, about my friend in UK and Thailand such and such ... but why didn't I think about my life in BKK. Isn't that because I do care about being with people more than staying or living at one place. I hate to admit that I'm kind of bored being with many people. Going somewhere with a bunch of friends would seem nice to me if we didn't have any conflicts. Somehow, "adults" just don't say it out loud when they have something on their mind or is that only me who just have changed and just don't want to socialize with that kind of people.

I have become an adult if being an adult means to stand and associate with people we are not fond of. We can pretend to be nice or best friends to them, not everytime but most of the time.

About the party today, first I was so happy while I was there with 3 japanese friends and then just like something hit me badly on my head when I found out that the three girls were coming. Not that I don't like being with girls, but the thing is I just told those 3 girls that I was so sleepy after that boring MGT class and I was going home when I passed by them. But it turned out that they were there at the dinner. Recently, I have made a little lies for not forcing myself to be in a peculiar situation.

My face should have looked like a jerk when those 3 girls showed up. Ok, fine.

Pick-Up Soccer In Central Park

2006-07-30T10:46:00.000-04:00

Lately, I have been searching for group of people who play soccer in Manhattan. Fortunately, I found 2 people who always play in Central Park on every Thursday. And last thursday I went there and didn't have to wait any minutes, they were playing, one in a grass field and the other in the dirt field 5 steps from the fence. So I ducked into the field and asked if I could join. " No problem." << So I was in the field waiting for my first soccer game in fall, Probably, it was a game in a year. These people were tough though, they played very well and I enjoyed it very much. However, when i got there, it was almost 8pm so they were gonna head back home. To me, i was so desperate for playing soccer and I could only play just 15 minutes. I was dissappointed. When I was leaving, there was another group coming to the field to play soccer. So ....... I joined them. Most of the players are beginners and there were 3 girls which were very nice. oh .. and there was a guy taking MBA at Stanford. HUHUU

ps. I shoud have taken some pictures to update in my blog.

4 seasons

2006-07-25T21:04:00.000-04:00

From my past understanding, there were 3 seasons in Thailand: Summer, Winter and Rainy. However, right now I believe there are still 3 seasons which are hot, hotter and hottest. When I complain bitterly about the heat here to my friend, they always say nowhere would be hot than Thailand. One thing ... summer here and there is different. Have you ever experienced dry-hot? It's damn torturing. Some time I can't breathe, like every drop of water can't be expelled through my skin. Summer Summer!!!

Summer

2006-06-29T00:53:00.000-04:00

It's summer now. Although I love spring, summer isn't bad. There are a lot of free concerts. The one I am waiting for is the orchestra philhamonic in Central Park. Last year I was there and it was great, though a little rain. One thing stuck in my head is when the temparature here sis around 23c, it's hot I mean it's not that "Thai Hot." but it's hot and dry. I feel unbreathable.
I wondered if 23c in Thailand would be "hot." My understanding was no one would complain the 23c hot in Thai definitely.
It would be far better than th weather there now. Speaking of hot, I have found a lot of hot chicks here in summer. Where were they in winter? Or would it be the clothing that made some " white meat" look much nicer. hahaha

Relationship

2006-06-15T00:39:00.000-04:00

Relationship seems so fragile. In a circumstance that no one wants to re-enter the game, unexpectedly bumping into someone somehow is peculiar. What would you do? Woud you just say "hi" and then leave as soon as possible? Or you would absently continue "a conversation." Probably, I am wild and not refined enough to put up with the converssation. No matter how hard we tried, we both knew that it was crap. Except parental bond, the bond attaching our friends is so .... Just one big mistake would tear that bond apart. So it ends up with nothing left. I would have been more discreet had I thougt twice. I should have continued playing "game" and not trying to have wrapped it up. This is absurd. It sounds so equivocal to me. One side I think I was so sick of the old script and desire another challenging script. In turn, I just couldn't put it down and let it go.
Psychology is so interesting. I guess it can explain this kind of behavior. it's sort of confusion, isn't it. Many times, I have been indecisive and the results were shit. It's not just like a game that I can restart it all the time. Even if there are a thousand alternatives, I can definitely figure it out which one is the best. But in reality, who knows? We just can't turn back time, solving , fixing mistakes happened. The way we are aiming could be the best, though the possibility is a little. We just can't get the finest thing all the time ... we just have to choose one, though risky. Somehow, being decisive would not cause any problem after choosing it. Don't have to think did i do wrong or would that one be better? What a thought!!

...

2006-05-30T01:08:00.000-04:00

PS : Please do not read, this journal is somewhat silly .. and you may not be able get something from it. so just skip .. I'm just bored.

Some time, we expect to do a lot of things in any single day, somehow no matter how far we are or whatever, we just find that we still at the exact same place we started. Probably, I didn't recognize how far I was , just let day and night pass day by day, ... what do I need of being alive? I still have no idea ... since high school, I have decided my path of life on my own ... never did my parents force me to do so. it's hard though. It's hard that I have to think what am I gonna do next. After this, what am I gonna be? I feel like I am getting lost in my thought ... if human beings did't have to think, it would be bored ... just like a system everything goes toward the rules. I still recall one thing that one of my close friend said to me "we know each other for departing." It's true. Who knows that in one's life, how many people have we met and how many people have we left behind or are surpassed by a little tiny piece of new memories ... they are pressed and one day we just can't unearth them. Relationship, somehow fake, is something weird, to me. For someone, it lasts forever ... in turn, to someone, it is just one night stand ... we just passed by. Being alone, .... do I really get used to it? ........ since when have I called a person friend? Does anybody has the line? Weird! Friends sometimes just cross the border that normally we can't let someone invade to. Friends... are they really like wine? the older, the better. it's sort of something that depends... I just wanna express my feeling without not yelling .. writing seems to be somewhat an alternative. ........................ why? ... have you ever thought when you were studying some social stuff saying that Human beings are social animals .. such this such that .... ..... I don't know ..... To be climbing or falling, some time we can just make consideratuins despite its effect affecting only us.

final exam

2006-05-22T23:21:00.000-04:00

There are 2 more to go ... Since when have I studied so hard like this? I was wondering with myself. Ok .. that's it I'm gonna complain about my exam. Near my school, there is a hamburger shop named "Shake Shack." Normally, I am not fond of hamburgers, but hold on ... this shop is different. Hamburgers here are dammmm good. I couldn't believe. I love the one "Mushroom Burger." The portion is so small, but the price isn't that cheap. It costs $4.5 with that fucking little tiny piece of bread and a little sauce and mushroom. Last time, when I wandered around school, don't know where to have lunch, suddenly I saw a long line as if they were waiting to play some stuff in Disneyland. I was wondering if it was the so-called ShakeShack. So I went to madison square park, it's in the park, and I decided to get a hamburger. I didn't know if it was a wise decision, cuz I had been waiting half an hour for that damm hamburger. For Chrsit's sake!! When I tasted it, the bread was so delicate , not like junk stuff from Mcdonald, but ... so small. That's the best burger.

...How

2006-05-18T23:23:00.000-04:00

Now I was wondering which way I learn better, when I am talking, between trying to quote everyword word by word and just letting it go, meaning that just get the meaning. Cuz i was confused last time when I was talking to my friends. I totally understood what they were saying, but I couldn't repeat their sentence. That was weird ... but I think it's more improve .. cuz it's natural. just be cool. Out of the blue and tippsy ....

Culture Diferrence

2006-05-08T22:03:00.000-04:00

Culture here is pole apart to Thai's. One thing that is really obvious and I just realize it today is the dress. Here, people are so confident wearing their suit. In class, there was a presentation today and every representative showed up with their business attire. I was so surprised, cuz it was only casual presentation. You were not supposed to dress up!!! That was good that I didn't have to present, If I had had to present, I would have worn a t-shrit and a jean.

Spring Break ~~

2006-04-25T23:29:00.000-04:00

A few days ago I went to DC. By the time I got there, I had made a stupid mistake that was I had booked 3 nights at the hotel from Sunday to Wendesday, but I thought I booked starting from Monday. That was so dumb. So, I had to pay 3 nights with staying only 2 nights. T-T The trip was so exhausting. I went to many places within 2days. I'm gonna skip the detail.
At the evening of the last day, I went to a chinese restaurant in China Town and there were 3 girls and 1 guy in the restaurant.
The restaurant was quite small though, so I was sitting next to that table. What a surprise! Those girls happened to be Thai and the thing was they didn't know that I was Thai. The guy sitting there was American, so he wasn't able to understand what they were talking. At first, those girls was chatting on general topic. Later on, I didn't know why they were saying that, but I was eavesdropping anyhow. One of them told the other two that yesterday she just had the most exciting experience by doing "that" outside of a car. ... I kept listening to that conversation. I thought it would be weird if I said anyword in Thai, so when a waitress came to take order, I just pointed what I wanted at the menu. That girl hadn't stopped. She was saying that most of her partners were foreigners. Well, with the like of her, I didn't wonder why. I was thinking that nowadays Thai girls were so open-minded and "extrovert." Not everyone as usual. I had been listining to that "unsavory" conversation for half an hour. And then I paid the bill. When I was leaving, I thought that they should have known that I was Thai. Therefore, I said "Yae Jung Ner," when I was walking out. After I said that, the restaurant was so quiet as if nobody was in there. They kept their mouth shut and stared at me. With the last smile I gave to them, I wouldn't do anything just left them in peace. Amend... Thanks the girls.

Haaaaaa

2006-03-01T17:24:00.000-05:00

Such a long time haven't I written somethiing on the blog. Lately, I have been busy, so .. that's an excuse. Winter is still going on and it seems even cloder than December now. My friend has told me that my thinking isn't systematic. Why? His answer is "I always think about many things in the same time." I found that it was true. While I'm thinking about something, if there is something interfering, I probably jump to another topics easily. It's a kind of problem I think.

I was wondering why the older we are, the more problem we face? Recently, many friends of mine experienced a "tragedy."
It's like a person who is really confident that no matter what is going on, they'll be fine. Unfortunately, it's not that easy. I really hate what I can't control. You name it ... there are many things we can't control. Feelings, somehow are the ones. What if we lived in a world that nobody had feeling. It would be ridiculous when you were very sad, but your crying voice was mono. Some times when you were angry, you expressed the action, but the mono doesn't stressed the anger you had. hahaha .. just like one of my friend who always speaks monotone. He is just "incredible." Everything in him such a mismatch. hahahaha

ABE ??

2006-01-10T23:46:00.000-05:00

I have studied since Jan 2nd. There is a lot of homework everyday. Speak out, writing. ... :'( Accent reduction is the most laid-back course. However, I experience difficulties of pronunciation some words. Girl ... Who created this word??? It's really hard for foreigners to pronounce this word. Writing class is quite tough. I feel under pressure cuz a lot of home work. In the first week, I was ordered to do research paper. And this Thursday I have to send the first draft of it. At first, I would write about OTOP, but the information of OTOP is really hard to come by. I might change it. The most difficult of doing research is the sources of the information.

?????

Strike! What?!!!

2005-12-20T18:16:00.000-05:00

Today, I couldn't believe what have happened. I realize that I can't go anywhere today when I just woke up for a few minutes that the union's MTA striked. It was really bad, no buses and no trains. One way that we can transport is a cab, except by walking. So, I decided to go walking around my neigborhood to find a nice restaurant for my lunch. Unfortunately, most of restaurants near my house were closed. Finally, I headed to my home and cooked by myself. :'(

Ps. The weather here is very weird. Last week, it was freezing and now it's warmer, but in the midday of the week was raining.
Miss all my Debsirin friends in every part of the world. Hope to hang out with you guys again.

The coming winter

2005-12-02T18:33:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I managed immunization stuff and already sent a proof to the medical record office. Now I can register for the spring semester, although I have to enroll in ABE first. Now I have equivocal feeling. Recently, I was glad that I could get into Baruch College, however I still need a university which has a campus. I mean the horizontal campus, not the vertical campus like this. That's weird. But when I thought back to where I was in the last year, I should have been so happy now and satisfied that the university accepted me. At that time, I was so desperate. Well, not much but kind of. It seemed to be impossible for me to get accepted to this university because of my GPA and my TOEFL score. Moreover, I hadn't gotten GMAT score at the time. Look at my situation in the present, I don't have to be stressed and just play around waiting until the school opens. I am excited for waiting for the coming semester. In ABE course, I have to study every weekday from 9.00 am to 4.00 pm. I must be so tired at the time if I still work at night. On December 1st, there is a reception event for nwe graduate students. I participated in the event. I was the youngest person in the room. I think all of them must be at least 25 years old. There was a man talking to me. He said he got a master degree in 1980. << At the time, i hadn't been born. Goddd. What I feel is so exciting about new experiences that I must face in next year. And I feel that I can learn and improve myself a lot in this university.

I have read my blog many times and I noticed that most of the topics are related to my education. hahahaha. What an annoying!
Maybe I shoud change to other stories. :)

Last week, I went ice skating. That was my second time in my life. I went to the Braynt Park with P'lukpud, Sung Min, P'nong and Jenny. Everybody couldn't play ice skating, except p' lukpud. For me, I couldn't say I can play. I just could stand on ice or just slowly move myself. That was very funny. Playing ice skating outdoor is so fascinating. My friend suggested me to go ice skating in Central Park. :) Next time, after my legs are fully recovered.

Wa hahaha

2005-11-11T22:53:00.000-05:00

After I had been waiting for 6 weeks, the congratulation mail from Zicklin Business School came to my door. I am very happy. Anyhow, there are a lot of stuff I have to do. Vaccination, notary ... So lazy. :P

The camp

2005-11-04T19:20:00.000-05:00

Lately, I have seen some of the Foto members in the webboard. It reminded me when I was in Thammasat. Every trip I went to with Foto was such fabulous memories. At the time, I had to go to the photo camp because I was one of the staff. Therefore, I just went there with responsibilties. Some time I was very bored of the duties of the Foto staff. One time, O, P'ton and I missed a photo camp because we chose to go to Vietnam instead of Phu Kra Deung. We had much of fun and interesting experience when we were traveling in Vietnam. Anyhow, there was some feeling we were lack of. In Foto camp, a camping place may not be interesting for us because we have been there before, maybe more than 2 times, but there are many friends,, memories, warmth, etc that are rarely found in a trip. While I was seeing friends in pictures on webboard I was envy of the atmosphere there. All of they did was taking photographs, talking, playing, laughing and stuff like that. If I had gone to the camp, I would have had one more great memory.

Sometimes we don't take much care of the precious possesion. Once it's gone, we would have perceive its value.

Rainy rain :P

2005-10-14T22:29:00.000-04:00

I couldn't believe this. It has been raining for 3 days. Godd!! An umbrella is one of the most important things in my everday life. Last week, I finished "Iron Pussy." The story is very crazy. The director is the one who produces "Sud Sa Nae Ha." While I was seeing that movie, I though about 7-11 in Thailand. It's really convenient. We can find it on each street. Iron Pussy is the story about a detector who spies out one family. Hahaha Co-director played as a protagonist that can camouflages herself to be a man who works as a casier in 7-11. Again, the story conceals the drawbacks of the backgroud and location of the movie.
However, people who love to see a nice location or background should skip this movie.

Now, I'm think about going seeing "Proof" in which Antony Hopkin and Gwynet Paltrow play. I also wanna see "Great Expectations" again.

Hope I can find it.

Thoroughly settled

2005-09-30T01:46:00.000-04:00

Now I'm doing very well. I am being with my life in New York City. Everything is so interesting. Why do I just realize that? Maybe I paid much attention to the test so that I couldn't keep an eye off it.

Every Friday I usually go to METS. It is an excllent place. I could spend my whole day walking there. Last week, I saw one of paintings of Renuer there. It is really fascinating. I had stood up there for almost an hour until my friend came to see me. The name of the painting is "The Ice." On the canvas, Reneur used white color to make an ambigous scenery. There are trees and a lake concealed by fog that Reneur created it. All white, grey and light blue.

I tried to buy a postcard of that painting. Unfortuntely, it was sold out. T-T

How often should we call back home?

2005-09-25T01:01:00.000-04:00

since I came here, I have talked with my mum for 3 times. One of those was failed because of the bad signal. I was thinking about "Why don't they call me?" The one who keep calling is me, but why? It is probably that they are busy or they feel nothing of lacking of my being. ? ? ? ? ?

Feel free

2005-09-15T13:09:00.000-04:00

Does anyone feel like this? When you already reached a destination that you had planned to do, you will feel so ... blank. I mean now I took both test and all I can do is waiting for the result. And I don't know what I should do in every single day. I might be bored with New York or I may be too nervous to do anything, except keeping waiting for the response from the university. I should go museums or at least just walk on the street.

Yesterday, I just got all of OST of 2046. It's really cool. Unbelieveable. Wong Ka Wai always choose perfect songs to fit with his films. "Adagio" I like this one very much. My friend, who is strucking in Illinois hahaha, suggested this song to me.
Its sound is so vague, but neat. When i was listening to this song I thought about someone who is taking the risk of love despite perceiveng that more than 80% of that chance would not succeed. I should have learned playing violin when I was in high school. - -"

The rising of the sun

2005-09-13T20:11:00.000-04:00

Every moring, sunlight always filter through the window and wake me up. Now I am think about lowering the curtain to shade it. I have done it once and that day I slept until 2pm. Anyway, with a second thought, I shoudn't change anything if I still want to do somthing in the moring.

Her! Tomorrow is the day that I have the GMAT test. I am being nervous. My feeling is not like when I was taking the TOEFL test. This is my first time for GMAT. Why studying in USA is so complicated? Why do they have to require both GMAT and TOEFL? .. Well, sometimes I wonder why I am here instead of England. Today, I have read some lessons. They might be useless if I keep reading without taking a rest.

Some might usually say "Wish me luck." :) <<< I never believe in luck hahaha, I believe in myself.
Well,... I might believe in luck. But before hoping luck to help us, we should do the best to reach our destination. Then, it depends on luck.

Grunchhh

2005-09-12T22:18:00.000-04:00

Again, last night I hardly slept. Somebody called me at 2.00a.m. And then that guy complained about a situation in her house. Whatever, I was so sleepy that I just kept saying "It's gonna be okay." 30 minutes later, I was completely awake. It was really hard to make myself ready for sleeping again. ZZzzz

Before I went to a library, I had received a mail from ETS. It was my TOEFL score,also my last chance. I don't want to fly back to Bangkok to have the old generation test because they're gonna change it to iBT, much more difficult, on 25th September 05. I hoped my writing score getting better while I was opening that letter. Well, It's better. The total score is 253. I'm glad that finally I passed it. One more to go, GMAT. I was so surprised when I had read my recent passage. There was "GMAT" in every passage that I had written. I might be concerned about
GMAT badly.

Anyhow, 2 more days left, Wednesday is the appointment date.

lament

2005-09-10T22:46:00.000-04:00

Today I felt so lonely like I was in a world that no one knew me. It was like I didn't exist. I was a nobody. However, that moment was thoroughly eradicated by another thought that "Don't forget GMAT." After my mind was settled, I started reading GMAT. Once again, I was always sleepy when I was starting doing something useful. Anyway, I keep reading it until I unintentionally glanced at a girl. She must have been a korean because I eavesdropped her conversation with her friends. 10 minutes later, there was a guy coming to sit next to her. With that touch, he must have been her boyfriend or at least a guy who can easily coax her to do "it." Whatever. So I stopped paying attention to that couple and re-started reading again. I absently saw my book while my head was thinking about "What are my friends doing?" We haven't talked for a few months. Sometimes, I miss night life in Bangkok, a football match, a party and so on. If I could I would fly back to Thailand for a few weeks to savor that feeling again. Homesick is conquering me. However, is that call homesick? I rarely miss my home. Should I have used another word instead of homesick?

Anyway, I had better go on my reading.

What a morning!

2005-09-06T22:12:00.000-04:00

Last night, I did kill a mouse trapped in my room. I feel so terrible. And today morning when I was eating my breakfast, my sister screammmmmmmed loudly. You guys might have guessed "We got another MOUSE." What 's wrong with this place? However, it's near my school. I was finding some reasons to offset my "exciting" home.

Anyhow, I finished reading critical reasoning. Luckily, my class has a fall break, so I can read Gmat all day and all night.

First draft

2005-09-06T22:10:00.000-04:00

Recently, I have realized that I had better read Gmat instead of spending time hanging out everyday. Today, I went to the information sessions of Baruch College. There were many international students there, but I couldn't find any Thai student there. At the sessions, I chose attending marketing sessions;however, now I still hesitate to choose between marketing and finance. Should I select studying in a financial field because it is related to my work experience or switching to another field like marketing in an advertising field? So confused. Does anyone experience this before taking MBA?