Help!

A belief or theory or whatever saying that human beings are social animals is stuck inside me. I feel awful many times when someone asks me to help, but they don't show any respect on my advice. What I was trying to say was "Why do you need me to help despite not believing or trusting what I've given an advice?" This kind of thought strikes me and I am so sick of helping somebody like this. You just need me to lend a hand, why don't you turn a wall toward me back? How can I escape from this idea? ??? or just saying that I don't know, or I just never say a word. That would be worse though. This sort of conflicts is waiting to explode when I can no longer put up with.

Summer Trip '06

I was gonna write about my last trip for many times, but I just couldn't go into it. Probably because of this coming fall semester or it could have been something going on about my personal life though. Now, I'm trying to figure it out where I should start writing about my journey. So sleepy, maybe tomorrow then hahaha


ps. this picture I took it while we were heading to Grand Canyon. We just stopped by the viewpoint beside the freeway 53 South.

a dinner

Now it is 6 am in the morning but I'm still awake. Moonlight filters through my window. This is not the only night that lying on the bed doesn't mean sleeping to me. I just closed my eyes, anyhow my brain was still working hard. I was thinking about the party tonight, about my summer trip, about my friend in UK and Thailand such and such ... but why didn't I think about my life in BKK. Isn't that because I do care about being with people more than staying or living at one place. I hate to admit that I'm kind of bored being with many people. Going somewhere with a bunch of friends would seem nice to me if we didn't have any conflicts. Somehow, "adults" just don't say it out loud when they have something on their mind or is that only me who just have changed and just don't want to socialize with that kind of people.

I have become an adult if being an adult means to stand and associate with people we are not fond of. We can pretend to be nice or best friends to them, not everytime but most of the time.

About the party today, first I was so happy while I was there with 3 japanese friends and then just like something hit me badly on my head when I found out that the three girls were coming. Not that I don't like being with girls, but the thing is I just told those 3 girls that I was so sleepy after that boring MGT class and I was going home when I passed by them. But it turned out that they were there at the dinner. Recently, I have made a little lies for not forcing myself to be in a peculiar situation.

My face should have looked like a jerk when those 3 girls showed up. Ok, fine.